Fucking Squirrels

   Squirrels. I fucking hate them. I mean, look at them. One two or three second glance and you'd realize that Colonel Hans Landa was absolutely right. Are they not rats with fluffier tails? With better P.R. people?
   Look at these little shits. They somehow turn a hundred acorns into two hundred potential oak trees. Just by sloppily eating their fruit all over your yard. Yeah, it looks cute. Until the little trees start popping up on your lawn. At that point you're too fucked to realize you're fucked. But by then its already too late. The little shit-heads own your yard and couldn't give a fuck how much you hate their ratty little comings and goings.
   It's not bad enough they shit around in your yard, but their decision making in terms of crossing the street is just  plumb ridiculous. I mean, you're three-quarters of the way across the street...so why the hell would you double back and run the gauntlet of two front-wheel drive 15 inch steel belts?
   They're really nature's Polak. Think about it. When the Nazis invaded the Pols fought valiantly, despite horse-mounted cavalry against fucking Panzers, to the last. A more ideal graphic depiction would be the student protester in Tianenman Square manning up to the tank that ran him over.
   Why do they wait until they're near your left tire to double back? Why after you've inevitably crushed their rear vertebrae must you double back and finish the job? If they must take a gloomy Monday that seriously, can't they time it so the death blow is that much quicker and more humane? Sick bastards.